Instead of Trying Harder, Try Softer
New Approach, Same Tomik
Right around the New Year, I heard a quote that resonated with me: “Instead of trying harder, try softer.“ I’ve been wondering how that approach could manifest in my life, especially when, energetically, I’ve been feeling more motivated about my personal endeavors than ever. And who am I, if not a fucking try-hard? If you’ve ever heard me discuss any of my pursuits, then you’ve probably heard me say that I jumped off the cliff and built the plane on the way down. I can’t explain why I operate that way. It’s certainly not the best strategy for everyone. But I’m a doer! And although this seems like a precarious time to be using plane analogies, all my planes (Fag Rag, Lefty Creative, Substack, & BaBEC) are still climbing, but I’ve learned how to navigate around the turbulence.
In the Past
Let’s start with this Substack. It’s been my red-headed step-child for a minute. I launched it at a pretty unstable time in my life. Financially unstable, down on myself, and wondering if anything I was working on would ever take off or have the impact I wanted. I wasn’t in the best place emotionally, either. I was in a new relationship that I low-key felt like I rushed into. Spoiler alert: I did. Looking back, I can see that I wasn’t just overwhelmed—I was uncertain about where I was going. I was a bit of a mess. One thing about me? I can be a silent, functioning mess. You’d never know unless I told you. I’ve always held it together—even when I’m unraveling. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
I wrote my newsletter when I felt passionate about sharing something, which wasn’t my intention when I started. I intended to use writing as a creative and therapeutic practice because when I get into a flow state, that’s what it is for me. But I was so focused on everything else in my life that I didn’t even realize how my writing, albeit sparse, was still connecting with people. I hadn’t checked my stats in months. When I finally did, I damn near dropped my phone when I noticed that over the course of a year, I’d made $1,000 and gained 40 subscribers from ONE post. And I had no idea. My other posts performed on par with any new Substack, and my engagement has grown steadily, but the moral of the story is, I wasn’t paying attention to or prioritizing this space.
NOW
A lot can happen in a year and a half, and I’m happy to report that I’m in a much better place. I now work as a Director of Development at an arts & social justice nonprofit. I have financial stability and what feels like a grip on my future. I’ve made a one-year plan for all of my personal endeavors starting with this Substack but also including Fag Rag and my web design business, Lefty Creative. I just finished a strategic plan for BaBEC, which I can’t wait to implement. I’ve always built the plane while free-falling. But now, for the first time, I feel like I’ve mapped out a fuel-efficient flight plan. I had flight plans before, but the energy expenditure had me running on fumes. It wasn’t sustainable, and I had to learn those lessons on my own.
A softer approach to my Substack is the realization that it doesn’t have to be long-form or perfect. It just has to be real. I’m inspired by Seth Godin, who has published a daily blog for almost 20 years. He says, “I don’t post a blog post because I feel like it, and I don’t post a blog post because it’s perfect. I post a blog post because it’s tomorrow.” To Seth, consistency is more important than authenticity. While I feel the opposite (and do not intend to post daily), I’ve still been motivated to rethink my approach.
THE PLAN
I’ve written four complete posts and have them in my drafts folder. This gives me a full month to write four more and keep the cycle going—no more scrambling to get something out just because it’s been a while. Of course, I can go in and tweak them or write something completely different if something time/culture-specific arises. But I’m not scrambling to keep up. That’s important for me and more attainable with the way my schedule is set up.
As for what’s free and what’s behind the paywall?
• I’ll release at least one free post per month to give people a taste of what’s behind the velvet rope. (This post and the three Wednesday posts that follow will be free, so you get a clear glimpse of what’s to come.)
• Everything else will be for paid subscribers.
• That said, I’m keeping the flexibility to post what feels right—some things might be too good to lock behind a paywall, and others might be too personal not to.
And speaking of personal…
I’ve decided that my more journal-style posts—the ones that are really about my personal life and have my most personal thoughts—will be reserved for my VIP-tier subscribers. Because not everything needs to be accessible to Google’s web scraper.
And let’s be real—there are two kinds of people who subscribe to that tier:
1️⃣ The Real Ones. The people who support everything I do. Some of y’all are courtside, dapping me up between plays. Others are in the nosebleeds waving pom-poms. Either way, I appreciate you sincerely.
2️⃣ The Haters. The ones who don’t actually fux with me but will still pay to keep tabs on what I’m doing. Don’t think you’re haters won’t spend money to plot your demise. They do it with BaBEC every summer.
I’m fine with both. Either way, thanks for funding the operation.
Amidst all this, I’ve decided that this newsletter will no longer be called The Atomik Factory. Atomik Factory is a name I’ve incorporated and plan to use in my business ventures. Henceforth, this newsletter will be known as Totally Tomik! I know it’s lowkey giving Just Jack, and I’m totally fine with that. lol. I played with a bunch of names, and this just made sense.
Staying within the realm of approaching this with softness, the old me would not have changed the name until I had the complete, ready-to-launch rebrand! Logo, color palette, photoshoot! New Tomik is letting you know that all of that will be rolled out over time. If you’re going to be on this ride with me, then you’re going to be on this ride with me! This is a new chapter, and I’m excited you’re here for it. If you’re not already a subscriber, now’s the time. Hit that button below, and let’s go!
