Happiness on Standby

You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore to decide to be happy.

It was a grey Sunday morning, and the light that struggled through the clouds struggled even more through my lightly tinted windows. As I stood in my tiny kitchen, whisking egg yolks in my underwear, I heard the pastor’s voice cut through my Bluetooth speaker: “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to decide to be happy.” I was attending Bedside Baptist Church—or at least, that’s what I call it when I watch a church service online from home. Even hoes like me need an inspirational word every now and then. I was casually listening the way one does when their brain is attending to multiple things at once. But that one line seized my attention. It was as if the pastor was standing in my kitchen, looking me in my eyes, speaking directly to me. He said it again with more conviction.

“See, I don’t think y’all are ready for a word this morning. YOU CAN’T WAIT UNTIL LIFE ISN’T HARD TO DECIDE TO BE HAPPY!” The congregation erupted in an orchestra of applause and Amens from the rafters. It dawned on me.

I’ve been waiting to be happy for most of my adult life.

I’ve been waiting for stable income. For my debt to shrink. For my business to scale. For some achievement that proved I wasn’t wasting my time in New York—that justified the years of struggle, that made me worthy of the life I wanted. The goalposts kept moving. And I kept waiting.

And if you’ve ever told yourself you’ll relax once you hit the next milestone, or that you’ll finally enjoy your life once you’re more stable, or that happiness is something you’ll earn after you’ve achieved enough, you might be waiting too.

Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way.